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tell me baby girl cos i need to know she just have to say either YES or NO. but sometimes, you just never get an answer do you? but i will find the answer. i heard people say, that when two people fall in love. they must be at the right time. and now i understand why. today, i get it. yes, if i werent crazy over her. i would be in head over heels with you now. but the fact remains that i am .it is gonna rest as a what-if. and even though everybody tells me she is not worth it. she is to me. seems that the other side of my life is very action packed from the way they are reading it. but it aint a big deal. i just dont clash love with life. not even if they are in the same region. i was cornered today. but i didnt complain and i am not pissed off. really, i am not. and i am surprise i aint. but that is partly i prepared for this to happen and there is no use in getting fired up anyway. its not good. i have to be at my optimun for tmr's mahjiong game. haha! well, i will do what is asked of me. i wont mind even transferring some of my knowledge over. i dont mind to teach. if you wanna learn. you know, i am beginning to look at ping ping in another light? among all of us, she is the most accepting to the world's events (or rather everything in the world). her motion is "as long as youre happy". she's got theories like, how everytime you cut your hair, you can be a different person as the one before the hair cut? yes, youre the same being. but mentally, youre allowed to be different from the one before you cut hair, "as long as youre happy". when i told her i'm crook today, she says "kai xin jiu hao". then she says maybe she should switch her orientation too. haha. since sec 3 my bleedy sexual orientation has been a hot debate amongst a lot of people. you should see the amount of questions i get. ha. damn, i am copying like that ms cat. she keeps changing from bung to straight girly to i dontknowwhat. no no, i am not doing this because i AA. i told you, i never AA one! :o
thinking of ac always links to jiam. why. because chiam and jiam. haha. ohwells. like what char said, its not worth it. but you know those time you buy LV and you know its not worth it yet you buy? i dont know, it might be human nature. everysinglebody tells me its not worth. but i think its worth. if she tells me no, or else i think we have found something to work on here. well, and i think.. despite what they say, you do forget your first love. no no, you will never forget the person. because that person might be your friend still. but memories do seem to get a lil hazy and they fade over time. i've only seen char twice during these 9 months and i dont remember a lot of things when i think back now. except the times when she sleep over, that is. but no, i cant forget trace. but its okay. she's got a new life, and i am happy that she is happy and i dont want a part of that new life. ya know, there are just some things you cant forget? it just keeps swaying at the back of my brain. i think they might be called memories. they aint too nice but i dont regret it. its okay. i think human gets this from one time to another. i hate emotional baggages and that how somepeople never let go. i feel so sorry for them. its such a tiring task to carry them round and round everyday and people carry it for years and some even till they die. it might sound weird to a lot of people. but i dread making new friends. because then i would have to share with them about me. and i start to hate talking about me. its more interesting to hear what they have to say. like between me and eve. its like a crash course. in these 5 months, i shared with her myself more than even myself with myself. like, when i want to convey some ideas, i might have to tell her the history of it before she could understand me. or else, it wouldnt make sense would it? the other me says i am closing up. i dont know if its good or bad. but i know if i were to be in aussie alone now. i am just gonna turn into a alcoholic smoker. i want to be scrawny. the bad way. like.. malnutritioned. . haha. hmmms. and i dont know where is serene centre! why wont you tell me?! 10:14 pm powered by blogger |
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