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I only feel alive when i dream at night even though she's not real its alright ... every move she makes holds my eyes and i fall for her everytime late night tv in singapore is very boring indeed. i was flipping every channel avaliable (from channel 5 to 62) and i cant find something worth watching. i kept straying from channel to channel. acct is getting okay. after you get past that initial stage of balancing, things actually get easier. like now, i can do balance sheet and p&l off on the spot. compared to the past where we had to refer and still unable to get the balance. :) i have thought about what to do with my time - get some language classes. since i have nothing really interesting to do anyway. wonders if ping ping wants to learn with me. aye, she does lah. she wants to learn jap. i'll register when i get back from europe. i just want to rot in europe. or maybe i need a break. i have been working non stop since dec 15th of last year. i never had a proper vacation where i could just spend my time wandering and wondering what i would like to do next. i am crowded with hoardes of people after people, especially my family. whose breathing down my neck at every minor difference. as if my life isnt routined enough, my mom seem to want to strive to make it even more routined. seriously. the mom is getting so paranonial. she's getting more and more sticky each day. it is as if she wants to eat up my life. she needs to know that i have grown up and i would very much want to own my life. not that she makes every decision for me, i make all of my own decision myself and whats worse. i even make decision that arent my problems - eg, which cake and where to get cater for my dad's birthday. i think its time that i need to breakaway for a while. xy is damn bleedy lucky to be in aussie alone and away from all the duties and reponsibilites and difficulties she has to face if she was here. those who came from a more peaceful family will not understand the angst we get. when you get overbearing parents, things happen i guess? i am just sick and tired of all the things i am facing everyday. the loathing to wake everyday punctually at 8 o'clock. because i go to school at rush hour and i get fucking dammit claustrophobic everytime on the train. the sick feeling i get when i have nowhere to go after 1230. because for the past five months, me and eve practically been to everywhere and seen everything that we absolutely have naught to do after school. and the weather plus all the remaining crap which arent written. dont blame me if i dont come back. then again, those who know me well will understand that i will come back. because from now till i graduate from uni of wales, my duty is to study and score. anything after that is prolly my own business. one day, i will. disappear. its just not time. i can understand why some people chose suicide, because that is what i really would like to try. then again, if i dont get to die, i will be charged for taking away my own right to live and breathe. and no, dont worry. even if i indeed die, i would be charged on a even worse charge. its a sin. one of the ultimate sin that i will not ever commit. quite luckily i guess, if i wasnt a catholic. i would have taken my life long ago. and no, i still stand by what i told shelwyn the first time she asked me. i never ever thought of suicide. I have been in love And been alone I have traveled over many miles To find a home There’s that little place Inside of me That I never thought could Take control of everything But now I just spend all my time With anyone Who makes me feel The way she does Chorus: cause I only feel alive When I dream at night Even though she’s not real It’s all right cause I only feel alive When I dream at night Every move that she makes Holds my eyes And I fall for her every time I’ve so many things I want to say I’ll be ready when The perfect moment Comes my way I had never known What’s right for me til the night She opened up my heart And set it free But now I just spend all my time With anyone Who makes me feel The way she does Repeat chorus Now I just spend all my time With anyone Who makes me feel The way she does hubbub : when i dream at night - marc anthony. :) 2:40 am powered by blogger |
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