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where do i begin someone enlighten me the word 'soulmate'. have anyone read marian keyes's last chance saloon? Is it like what fintan and sandro share? Like what fintan could guess what sandro wanted without communicating at all? What i am trying is make sense is that, can 2 person who dont know each other yet go through the same thing at the same time? fate or just coincidence? unable to sleep well these days. suffering from insomania, i guess. you know the game " what ifs"? Been playing that lately. and the results are not-out-yet-but-coming makes everything more jittery than it already was. plus the pressure that my family (my dad actually) been pilling on me. i think growing up in a very asian family is indeed very tough. This doesnt apply to all the asians. just the chinese speaking ones. Because apprently in the past, the english educated has a much more angmoh insight. Whereas the chinese educated ones had chinese values instilled in them. and what's the one famous one? Do not wash your dirty linen in public. Chinese asians cares a lot about "face". We are, to a certain extent, unwilling to admit any short-comings and expose failures. We believe in keeping stuff inside the house. Low profile's the best. And what's more, no body wants to say anything. Things, please remain as usual would be very satisfactory. We dont generally welcome changes or radical ideas. They are just simply dismiss and regarded as " very wrong". Like these days, there's the debate on if teaching chinese thru han yu pin yin was deemed as good, or to revert to the old chinese style of teaching - understand and learn how to write the word first. Then my mom made a comment, " actually its very wrong" emphasized on the words "very wrong". If there any wrong in teaching chinese through the immplementation of han yu pin yin? Or is it that chinese just dont really welcome any fanciful ideas? Is it that chinese just cant match brains with an angmoh or are we containing ourselves in that box? Then again, maybe what i am talking about is too radical for most sg chinese asian to really fully understand what i am coming from. the results are really gonna be out. my dad told me , 2 months after Os that he plans to retire. How funny, what if anything happened to my results? He should have told me before my Os. Then i would have planned something.. he gives me this kind of pressure, how does he expect i am gonna juggle this extra burden? in school, when others asked about family expectations, and i've known seniors, juniors and frens with this " my mom says if i get into rj.. they will give me......." i didnt have. But mine came a f t e r my exams. What can i do, when he dropped the bomb .. bloody hell 2 months after my exam? days after i said that i might fail maths? we are a family, ideas and solutions are meant to brainstorm together and solve together.not decided and pinned unto anyone is this house. In sg chinese family, we learnt to keep problems to ourselves. and i seriously think that's what breaking the family up. " The family that prays together, stays together" How i wish i could just disappear somewhere. and go round travelling and working all round the world. You know, exploring their cultures.. 12:45 am powered by blogger |
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