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boxing day i am gonna put an entry on easyjournal too. so, for those who actually know about my bloggings then pop in over and have a look what's up. Christmas used to be a happening and happy day for me - when i was still young that is before the series of jo&me happened. After that i hadnt really feel anything for christmas. Especially when every other catholic treats today as a sacred and a very much important day in their lives. I feel as if i am not invited to the party. Ambiguous sentence that is. read: party as in basically party & party as in the celebration of the catholic faith. Last year, i had a very torrid christmas&christmas eve and a worse off new year - the english one, plus a not too eventful chinese new year. When i was counting down, i was practically dreading it. I had this get feeling that i might as well stay in the year 2002 because 2003 was gonna be quite terrible for me. Oh no, i wasnt afraid of the Os, just the happenings in 2003. It was like, I could almost predict that it was gonna be a bad year for me. The year 2001 was bad too. When i visited Beijing that year, they talked about that year being the " cold tiger year". Dictating that it was quite a tough year for the peeps born in the tiger year. Indeed so, i flunked my end years, both my grans passed away and good stuff werent reciprocated back to me. I wash my hands, but i dont blame it on karma. This year, which is actually now -at these very moments, I feel that year 2004 would be bad but not as bad as the year 2003. I cant really trust my gut feelings right now, just because. Had a horrendous outburst with my mom. Evaluated it with sb (she was the only one i could rattle to at that point of time and she went throught it with me. I am grateful sb, i really am), and aint so confused but i instead confused my mom. Which i hadnt had the courage to say anything about the outburst to her. Just because if i did, it may end up in yet another quabble and i dont have enough strength to go through another one of those. Thinking takes a lot outta you. Christmas day's over but christmas aint, although it hadnt had a particular meaning to me at this instant - except for the birth of christ and the start of the faith and and unforgivable devil and me twirling like his pawn in a chess game, i know it will after i speak to a Priest. I cant approach Father Adrian Yeo, just because. Father John Lee is too fierce (maybe he's not, still!) and i fear Father Louis cant understand me and i cant understand him. And dont talk about Tee or Mel, i would just throw my face away. Ok, shant bother you about boring stuff. I'm getting geared up for the Japan trip and i got a ticket on the Jan 12 9.45AM flight! my dad's still on the waiting list, lets hope he gets it or else he has to fly after me, which is aint too good. I would have to spend 2 hrs in the Narita airport all by myself. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May everything flows smoothly for everyone and many good returns to all of ya out there. Good stuff happens, bad things into the bin. 12:20 am powered by blogger |
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