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i haven felt this way in a loong loong time. and i absolutely hate every single minute of it. too tired to talk. but if sonya pillay is readng this. to me u r the best fucking speaker in the world. i was reallie afraid to say what i felt coz i cared. too much. that i scared u will blow and i dont want to make u feel worse than u have. u dont deserve it from me. i tot i had already mentioned. that u were the best speaker? u din catch the hint? ok. obviously u din. or not everything wld be alright. i bloddy hell love u lor? .... sniffs. talking to neng: Cookiebird: (11:17 PM) hrllo...everything hunkydory? // anderssvensson: (11:17 PM) :( Cookiebird: (11:17 PM) aw. wats up this time // anderssvensson: (11:19 PM) i just dunno. sometimes i feel that i noe her sometimes i dont. this time is 100% percent my fault. because she wanted me to be there when she debated. and she fuckingly hell wanted a sense of security and i could give. and i could have just said one fucking sentence and it wil ease everything. i hate myself. Cookiebird: (11:19 PM) y were u absent then // anderssvensson: (11:21 PM) no, i was there. we lost the debate. by HALF A MARK. all she wanted was me to confirm that she was good. and she really was. truely. but i din say it. worse thing. not that i din wanna say it. i did. but it just din come to my mind. i went round and round the bush.. Cookiebird: (11:21 PM) oh. so she didnt get the msg tt u thot she was gd? // anderssvensson: (11:22 PM) yeah. something like that. then she had to ask me that. i feel so fuckingly baddd. i mean those words should have came right? but it didnt. Cookiebird: (11:23 PM) its ok she wil understand rite. // anderssvensson: (11:24 PM) i hope so. but i scared that after all these she won be as close nemore. and i DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!!!! Cookiebird: (11:24 PM) ok. y dun u send her an email or sth? // anderssvensson: (11:25 PM) maybe.. i think i shall send her sms.. 11:19 pm powered by blogger |
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